Another Huge Mistake
GOB tries to impress a mysterious woman by the banana stand. The first ever Goblyria fic. I'll wager. By Meaghan.
GOB was hungry, so he decided to take his scooter down to the family banana stand and take advantage of his family discount. When he got there, he saw a woman in a skintight body suit staring at the banana stand.
"Uncle GOB!" said George Michael, with a touch of fear in his voice.
"George Michael. I'll take a banana, double dipped, and who is that very hot woman?" he asked.
"Uh, I don't know ... she's kinda been staring at me all day though. It's a little strange. Her skin is sort of blue. Maybe she's friends with Tobias?"
"Maybe," said GOB. "But seriously, a hot chick like that? COME ON!" He decided to try to impress the woman by showing her one of his illusions. Just then, George Michael's father, Michael, rode up on his bike.
"George Michael," he said, "did you give your uncle another free banana?"
"Yeah ... well you said I should give him whatever he wanted," replied George Michael nervously.
"Yes, yes, that's good, he is your uncle." Michael then noticed the woman in the body suit. "Who's that?"
"I don't know," said George Michael. "I think GOB's going to find out."
Michael surveyed the woman. He noticed her blue hair, partially blue skin, and strange eyes. "Well this should be interesting," he said.
Meanwhile, GOB approached the woman.
"Excuse me," he said, walking over to her, "you look confused. Maybe you're looking for ... your pet dove!??!!" and he "magically" released what was supposed to be a dove, but what actually ended up being a big bunch of feathers, from his sleeve. George Michael applauded appreciatively in the background.
The woman merely stared at him.
"You seek to impress me with your tricks, mortal?"
"They're illusions," said GOB.
"I reigned over countless worlds before your kind was even thought of. I have seen sights you could never hope to dream of. Your 'illusion,' as you call it, is nothing more than a pathetic attempt to harness a tiny fragment of the power wielded by those you should fear. It offends me that you think this display a suitable entertainment for your better."
There was a short silence. George Michael watched, even more frightened than before. Michael felt shocked. But GOB was undaunted. "If I had a penny for every time someone said that to me, then I'd have ... A LOT OF PENNIES!!!!" he exclaimed, and showered the woman with a stream of pennies that "magically" appeared out of his other sleeve.
The woman looked at the pennies, then at GOB, and then turned and walked away. GOB grabbed his scooter and followed her. Michael watched them leave, and heard GOB say something about legs and cutting the woman in two. The woman stopped, reached out, and lifted GOB off his scooter by the neck.
"Oh, that's not good," Michael said. But he chose not to intervene.
* * * * * * *
Later, back at the model home, Michael was in the kitchen listening to Lindsay and Tobias talk about re-forming Dr. Funke's 100% Natural Good Time Family Band Solution again when GOB came in.
"Hi GOB, how's your neck?" Michael asked.
"Michael! I totally *bleep*ed that blue chick!" GOB announced. (He didn't.)
"A blue woman?" asked Tobias. " ... Interesting." And he hurried upstairs.
"GOB, she was manhandling you. She looked like she wanted to break your neck," said Michael.
"No, Michael," he said, "that's just her way of showing affection." (It wasn't.) "She said she wanted to show me the back of her ... something ... I don't know, she used a lot of big words. I think maybe she's not from America. Anyway we're definitely going out again. We'll probably *bleep* again too."
"That's great, GOB," said Michael, walking away. "Just make sure she doesn't really hurt you."
"She doesn't want to hurt me, Michael, she wants to see more of my illusions! I'll need something really big this time." And he went off to look for the Aztec tomb.
* * * * * * *
At about 3 o'clock that morning, Michael woke up to a loud banging noise outside the model home. He put on his robe on and started downstairs to see what it was, but just as he made it to the bottom of the stairs, the front door flew off its hinges and GOB's Aztec tomb came whizzing through and landed with a crash at the foot of the stairs. GOB lay on the ground in the wreckage of the tomb, looking dazed. Michael stared as the blue woman strode through the door.
"Human! Does this creature belong to you?" she said imperiously.
Michael considered a moment.
"I guess you could say that ... yes, yes he belongs to me."
"Then I charge you with minding its well-being," she said. "In spite of its ... mindlessness, I have grown fond of its company."
" ... Him?" asked Michael, incredulously.
"Yes ... him," the woman answered. "He is ... amusing to me. My amusements are few in this kingdom. My company has been limited to the vampire and his minions, and I tire of them. Your 'GOB' will provide me with some novelty for a short time ... if that is ... acceptable to you." She waited for an answer.
"Uh ... okay, sure. You can swing by and use GOB for your amusement any time." He walked towards the door and motioned her out.
"I shall return for him tomorrow. Have him ready."
"Yep, that'll be great. Bye bye now," he said, and closed the door behind her.
"Well," he turned to his brother. "Quite a catch."
GOB sat up feebly. "I've made a huge mistake," he said, and then he passed out.