Farscape slash (Crichton/Scorpius) written by Meaghan ... with a lot of assistance from Drabble-Matic. heheh.
Scorpius tripped along monochromatically. He was on his way to meet his lover, Crichton, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a squirrel hopping along, carrying a bomb in its mouth.
Scorpius was almost in the cargo bay when he came across a big cake, lying alone on a happy plate. "That must be a treat from my stolen bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked depressed, so he ate it.
It gave him the most proud tingling sensation in his leg. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Crichton.
When Crichton came out to meet him, he took one look and fell over.
"What is it?" Scorpius cried lamely.
"Your elbow! And your back!" Crichton said. "They're shiny! Can't you feel it?"
Scorpius felt his elbow and his back. They were indeed quite shiny. "Oh, no!" Scorpius said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that big cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"
"I didn't leave you any cake," Crichton said. "I got you a spaceship. It must have been that heroic man who lives nearby. He acts a little quickly, ever since he bit a neural clone."
"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Scorpius sobbed.
"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Crichton said quietly, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your elbow is really evil like that."
"Really?" Scorpius dried her tears. Scorpius kissed Crichton and it was an entirely plush sensation, like a Leviathan going into Starburst.
They spent the night having entirely plush sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.
Everything was rather awkward after that.