The Best U.S. President Names to be Used as Penis Nicknames

In chronological order!

James PolkJames Polk
The eleventh President of the United States, serving from March 4, 1845 to March 4, 1849. A democrat committed to manifest destiny, it is notable that he was president when the enormous and glorious state of Texas entered the union. Unfortunately, Polk died of cholera shortly after finishing his term as president.

Andrew JohnsonAndrew Johnson
The seventeenth President of the United States, serving from April 15, 1865 to March 4, 1869, he became president upon the assassination of Abraham Lincoln (bonus nickname suggestion: Lincoln Log). Johnson never went to school, and his wife taught him how to read and write. He was also the first president to be impeached -- not once, but twice!

Warren HardingWarren Harding
The twenty-ninth President of the United States, serving from March 4, 1921 to August 2, 1923. Sadly, Harding died in office, but not before his administration was rocked by the Teapot Dome scandal. He is often ranked the worst president ever!

Herbert HooverHerbert Hoover
The thirty-first President of the United States, serving from March 4, 1929 to March 4, 1933, Hoover was a mining engineer before he became president. Sucks for him (pun intended), because he was president during the Great Depression. However, the Hoover Dam was named after him, so at least he has that.

Harry S. TrumanHarry S. Truman
The thirty-third President of the United States, serving from April 12, 1945 to January 20, 1953, he took office after the death of Franklin Roosevelt. Arguably one evil dude, he authorized the use of atomic weapons against the Japanese in August 1945. Truman was also behind a controversial addition to the exterior of the White House: the Truman Balcony.

Lyndon JohnsonLyndon Johnson
The thirty-sixth President of the United States, serving from November 22, 1963 to January 20, 1969, he became president following the Kennedy assassination. Johnson was notoriously frugal, addicted to the grapefruit-flavored diet soda Fresca, and at least once picked his dog up by its ears.

Richard NixonRichard Nixon
The thirty-seventh President of the United States, serving from January 20, 1969 to August 9, 1974. Nixon resigned from office in the wake of the Watergate scandal, which overshadowed his foreign policy successes. He also appointed Elvis Presley a "Federal Agent at Large" in the war against drugs and appeared on both Laugh-In and Hee Haw.
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