Crimes and Misdemeanors

Citizens of the world with shared brains? More like criminals of the world with shared brains! Read up on COTWWSB scandals.

Stolen Bolton - December 7, 2007, 11:49PM
In the late hours of the night, Julie allegedly broke into Bonster's storage unit in midtown Oklahoma City. Not only did Julie wreck up the place, she also stole Bonster's complete Michael Bolton CD collection, including Bonster's favorite, the classic 1991 album Time, Love & Tenderness. Bonster is devastated by the loss of her CD collection and the actions of her friend. Julie refuses to comment. "Forever Isn't Long Enough" for her to be behind "Steel Bars."

Bonster's Hooters Hookup - October 26, 2007, 4:12PM
On a Friday afternoon, Bonster entered the Hooters restaurant near the expressway and ordered a plate of wings and a beer. Several waitresses report that her excessive ogling made them uncomfortable. Bonster approached two men at the bar and bought them several rounds of drinks, then later left with them in a taxi. An eye witness states that Bonster and the men arrived at Bonster's home and were not seen again until late Sunday night. Bonster has admitted that she hid the men in her bedroom so her grandma wouldn't find them. She claims that she did not mean to kidnap them, but that she simply wasn't able to sneak them out for two days because her grandma would not go to bed. That's for the jury to decide.

The Red-Headed Intrigue - March 6, 2007, 2:37AM
When Nicole stayed with Morgan in California in March 2007, she had more than just a friendly visit planned. In the wee hours of the morning, she silently sneaked out of Morgan's house and drove to the home of television actor David Caruso, where she cut a window screen and slipped into an unoccupied guest bedroom. It's unclear exactly how many items Nicole stole from the Caruso home, but when police found her asleep in the stolen car, she had several sweaters and pairs of pants, a framed family photo, a toothbrush, and a small wad of red hair. Nicole admits she had researched her plan online using Google maps and various David Caruso fan sites, and that she would "do it again in a heartbeat."

This. Is. SPARTACUS! - December 9, 2007, 3:15PM
On a cold winter's day in December of 2007, Meaghan made a bold attempt to steal Morgan's identity of Spartacus. It is unknown the means or the lengths she went to in order to perpetrate the crime, but she claims to this day that Morgan stole her identity as Spartacus. Only they know the real story and neither claims to be anyone other than Spartacus.

Shit-Faced Shenanigans - November 23, 2007, 1:37AM
Between the hours of 1AM and 2PM a drunken Brandon left the local pub after last call. Deciding that it was too early to go home, he found himself in the local liquor store. Clumsily, he took five boxes of condoms from the shelf and stuffed them down the front of his pants. The store clerk said that Brandon then ran out of the store, crashing into shelves as he went. Brandon reportedly went straight home. When the police came to question him about the incident, the condoms were nowhere to be found. Brandon claims to have no memory of the incident.

An International Kidnapping Plot - January 2, 2008, 5:00PM
Since 8AM, Nicole has been patiently waiting for a Verizon tech to show up at her house. Little does she know, that won't be happening any time soon. Holly, who some believe has delusional dreams of becoming a supervillain, reportedly placed a phone call to Verizon technical support in the very early hours of the morning. A Verizon representative claims that the woman who phoned said she was Nicole, and her address on file was incorrect. She provided a new address, to which the tech was dispatched later that morning. He never arrived. Witnesses near the alleged new address reported muffled yelling and scuffling in the alley behind the house, and a dirty white work van speeding off toward RT-1A in the direction of Logan International Airport. A discarded workman's toolbelt was found at the scene. A special correspondent in London tells us that this evening, a drugged-looking man in coveralls arrived on a flight from Boston escorted by two large men in suits, who placed the man in a taxi. The car was followed north to Holly's residence. Perched in a tree outside the house, our correspondent recalls seeing Holly place a rag over the man's mouth, at which point he fell limp to the floor. She then bound his wrists and ankles, pushed him under her bed, and resumed browsing the internet on her laptop -- in fact, offering sympathy to Nicole via an online chat program over the lengthy wait for her Verizon tech to arrive! When questioned, Holly admitted "He's being kept hostage udner [sic] my bed." However, she also claims she will "take no responsiblity [sic] for his bruises" and he "won't make it before tomorrow." Holly's true motives remain unclear, but an expert consultant believes she did it "just to fuck with Nicole."
« back