Possible Future (Past) Plotlines for One Tree Hill

Bonster, Julie, Meaghan and Morgan recently started watching One Tree Hill, which is a show that has some pretty cracked out storylines. Here, we've tried to guess what might happen in future seasons and rated the likelihood of these storylines actually coming to pass on a scale of 1 to 5 Chads. Note to One Tree Hill creator Mark Schwahn: We don't mind if you want to use these ideas.

Karen turns out to be Deb's sister
They never knew it, but Dan's two babymamas are actually siblings. In a strange twist of fate, they have the same father, but he left Karen's mother to be with Deb's. Dan, of course, knew about it all along and his marriage with Deb was just an elaborate scheme to get back at Karen's father for abandoning her. This makes Nathan and Lucas both brothers and cousins.
Likelihood: 2 Chads.

Dan is the son of Satan
His father placed him in Tree Hill to mess with the lives of all the townspeople because Tree Hill High is built on the ruins of a Satanic temple.
Likelihood: 5 Chads. I can't see any other possible explanation for that level of evil.

Peyton becomes a carny
Dissatisfied with life in Tree Hill, Peyton hits the road. She meets up with a travelling carnival and joins them, eventually marrying the lion tamer. She learns to throw knives, and soon her act is the most popular one in the fair. One day, she'll come back to Tree Hill with the show and accidentally take out one of Dan's eyes when he volunteers to be in the act.
Likelihood: 3 Chads.

Peyton, Brooke, Haley, Mouth, Skills, and Jake are all Dan's kids
Because he's a big man ho. Everyone has to go into therapy because of all the incest.
Likelihood: 4 Chads.

Nathan becomes a new man
Nathan's face is terribly burned in a car accident, and he is forced to wear a mask to cover the hideous scars. Struggling with thoughts of what his life would be like if Dan had chosen Karen instead of his mom, he bleaches his hair and wears a mask that looks like Lucas.
Likelihood: 4 Chads.

An Unkindness of Ravens
In a shocking twist ending, the series finale reveals that the show as we know it was actually Lucas' novel "An Unkindness of Ravens." The novel is quite a bit different from what really happened. In reality, Dan died from his heart attack, Haley married Lucas, Peyton married Nathan, and Brooke is a lesbian.
Likelihood: 5 Chads.

Nathan leaps forward to the next stage of human evolution
After years of striving to jump higher in basketball, Nathan develops the ability to fly. Just like Superman. He swoops down in the nick of time to save Haley from being hit by a car. The James-Scotts then fly off into the sunset and live happily ever after.
Likelihood: 5 Chads.

Everybody Dies in a Flash Flood
See title.
Likelihood: 5 Chads.

The Time Traveller's Father
Dan travels back in time to the age of pirates and meets a beautiful wench. As is Dan's way, he fathers a child. This child grows up to become none other than James Norrington of Pirates of the Caribbean fame! Norrington finds Dan's time machine and comes forward to the Tree Hill of the future, where he must learn to adapt to modern ways and develop a relationship with his half-brothers, Lucas and Nathan. He also falls in love with Brooke.
Likelihood: 3 Chads.

Nathan can tragically no longer wear a shirt
Nathan develops a skin condition that leaves no visible symptoms, but causes him extreme discomfort whenever he tries to wear clothing on the top half of his body. He is forced to go shirtless at all times. Haley doesn't mind.
Likelihood: 4 Chads.

Beg to Differ, Little Lady
Facing the prospect of death without a new heart, Dan builds a robot version of himself. He then secretly dies, leaving the DanScottBot to live on eternally and wreak havoc in his place. In a tearful season finale, Nathan strikes his "father" in defense of his family after "Dan" attacks Haley. The Bot tumbles down the stairs, and for a frantic few hours Nathan believes he has killed his own father. He becomes depressed and wears overalls without a shirt. Finally, Brooke, Mouth and Haley do some sleuthing and reveal the truth: the real Dan is long dead, and the "person" Nathan "killed" was only the DanScottBot. There is a thrilling final confrontation between Nathan, Deb, Haley and the revived Bot, and ultimately, Nathan powers down the robot ... permanently.
Likelihood: 5 Chads.

Dan's Best Friend
After a dog with serious munchies tragically eats Dan's new heart, Lucas finds a new and cruel way to get back at his father. He tracks down the dog's owner and persuades him to sell the pet. Lucas names the dog Keith and is frequently seen walking Keith past Dan's house. One day Dan confronts Lucas as he walks past and says, "Do you really think this hurts me?" Lucas is heard to reply, "Dad, have a heart."
Likelihood: 3 Chads.

It's Alive!
Peyton gets in a horrible car accident and is decapitated. Lucas becomes distraught and retreats to his bedroom, where he reads Frankenstein over and over until he discovers the secrets of life. Miraculously, he is able to re-attach Peyton's head to her body and bring her back to life, creating the Frankenpeyton. Or Peytonstein. Or Frankenpeytonstein. Whatever.
Likelihood: 2 Chads.

Scarred, But Not For Life
Brooke gets in a horrible car accident and her face is disfigured. She has extensive plastic surgery to regain her looks and, miraculously, comes out looking exactly the same as she did before. Unfortunately, she soon gets in another horrible car accident and suffers even worse disfiguration. She goes back for more extensive plastic surgery and, again, comes out looking exactly the same as she did before. Her plastic surgeon, Dr. Alden Manning (Matthew Bomer), falls hopelessly in love with her and becomes a stalker.
Likelihood: 4 Chads.

Man Walks Into a Home and Garden Center
Bevin has been transferred at Macy's to the Home and Garden center. One day, Lucas and Peyton are shopping for a few necessities for their lawn. Bevin is obviously very excited to see her high school friends and in an effort to get a commission, she shows them the latest model of ride-along lawn mower! Not only that, she also demonstrates its usefulness for them, even lowering the blades! Things get messy when she swerves into Lucas and runs over his foot. The doctors have no choice but to amputate.
Likelihood: 1 Chad

Ice Ice Nathan
After the Bobcats fail to re-sign him, Nathan decides to become an NHL player instead. The Carolina Hurricanes, mired in a terrible slump and desperate for help, sign him as their new second line centre. Nathan turns out to be just the person the team needed to right itself, and the Canes make a run to the playoffs. Once the playoffs begin, Nathan, in keeping with hockey tradition, starts growing a playoff beard. This causes Haley to flash back to the days after Nathan's accident, and she tries to convince him to shave it. He won't because he's too superstitious, so she starts sneakily trying to shave it while he sleeps.
Likelihood: 3 Chads

Latter Day Saints
In the season finale, everyone goes to Utah to become Mormons.
Likelihood: 2 Chads.

Qu'est-ce que c'est?
Quinn returns from Africa with a suprise for everyone -- her new girlfriend, Deb. Haley is completely weirded out that her sister is dating her mother-in-law. Nathan is worried that his sister-in-law might also become his step-mother. Clay is crushed into bits of clay and eager for revenge, but he can't grip a weapon because of his injuries. Now that Clay is a free agent, Katie swoops in hoping to win his affections. He is so grief-stricken it is easier to just pretend she is Sarah, and when she offers to shoot Quinn and Deb for him, he agrees. Dan, who has been creeping around the James Scott house since hearing of Haley's pregnancy, decides to take matters into his own hands. Maybe he can get revenge on Deb and win back Nathan once and for all if he can split up the new couple. Unbeknownst to each other, Katie and Dan arrive at Quinn and Deb's new apartment on the same night and both secretly enter the bedroom. Katie raises her gun to fire and Dan mistakes her for Quinn defending herself. He shoots Katie and she crumples to the floor. Clay, watching from the window, rushes in and tackles Dan. Dan punches him in the face and he doubles over in pain. Deb grabs her gun from her bedside table. Quinn grabs her gun from her bedside table. Dan begins to raise his arms in surrender when a shot fires from the doorway and Deb falls to the floor. Dan sees a brief glimpse of Skillz disappear into the shadows. Clay grabs Deb's gun and fires at Quinn. Quinn falls backwards on to the bed and drops her gun. Deb grabs the fallen gun and, with her last ounce of strength, fires at Clay. Dan stands surrounded by the bodies of Katie, Deb, Quinn, and Clay. Suddenly, Nathan appears in the doorway. "Dad, what did you do?" he cries. The end.
Likelihood: 4 Chads.

Scott. Nathan Scott
Nathan is feeling unfulfilled and bored in his new career as a sports agent. Without basketball, he's feeling lost. Unbeknownst to Nathan, Fortitude is actually a covert arm of the CIA. It's so covert that not even Clay knows about it. Now, Nathan finds that he has a new mission in life! Sadly, this new job protecting his country means that Nathan is away from his family more than he was when he was playing in the NBA. He tries to reconcile his new career with his family life, feeling that he can't give up his new career. Nathan's job as a secret agent takes him first to Langley, Virginia for shirtless secret agent training. His missions to protect his country, and his family, will be taking him to such far off locations as Karachi, Sierra Leone, and Bratislava.
Likelihood: 3 Chads.

Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce... Morgan... Scott?
Not so long ago, young Sally Draper decided to deal with her traumatic upbringing by changing her name to Laura Moser and moving to Miami, FL. There, she gave birth to two sons - Dexter and Brian. Tragically, Sally Laura was brutally murdered when Dexter was three years-old. Also dealing with his troubled upbringing is Sally's brother, Eugene Scott Draper. He decides to go by the name of Royal Eugene Scott and moves to a small town in North Carolina. Like his sister, he raises two sons, one with a penchant for murder. Sadly, the two tragic families are never reunited. Until... (See plotline below.)
Likelihood: 2 Chads.

Haley James Scott, P.I.
Having helped Dan in his search for Nathan, Haley now has a taste for solving mysteries. With Dan now dead, she's delved more into the Scott family history and finds that there may be family living in Miami. Much to Haley's horror, she realizes that this long-lost family member may in fact be a serial killer named Dexter Morgan. To protect her family, Haley moves to Miami, goes by the name of Cassie, and moves in next door to Dexter Morgan to continue her investigation.
Likelihood: 4 Chads.
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